Weekly Roundup

I forgo the celebrity quote of the week to bring you, instead, five recent pop-culture items that I just can’t get on board with. What’s wrong with me, you ask? No no, gentle reader: what’s wrong with you?

1. Borat. At first I thought it was cool that a Jew was making Jewish jokes and thumbing his nose at his oppressors, but then I realized that he’s just continuing the long and glorious tradition of dehumanizing a group of foreign people in order to make the rest of us feel better. My in-laws lived in Kazakhstan for three years and I never heard a bad thing said about the people there (I did hear some jokes about fermented camel’s milk, but all in good fun). To each their own style of humor, but I can’t find this persona in the least amusing.

2. Britney’s sex tape. Dude, sex tapes were so two years ago. I’d so watch a Britney chess tape though. Would she checkmate K-Fed in six moves? The mind boggles.

3. Gwen Stefani’s new video. Gwen, you broke my heart so many years ago, but now you’re just stomping on it because you can. I don’t mean the sampling of “The Lonely Goatherd,” though let’s face it, you look awful in a wimple — I mean the idiocy to which you’ve descended. Don’t you realize that people are making Fergie jokes — and why? Because you sound just like Fergie. And Gwen, sweetie, the world can only tolerate one Fergie (if it has to). You used to be so cool, Gwen. What happened to you?

4. The startling takeover of Food Network by Paula Deen. Look, lady, I liked to watch your show, okay? But then you started a new show, and I can’t turn on my TV without seeing you. And now your sons have their own show? Can they cook? No. All they can do is ride around in their stupid car … oh, and talk. Talk, talk, talk. Like you do on your new show. Food Network doesn’t need more talking! You’re not another Emeril! One Emeril is too many!

5. The Simpsons movie. The Simpsons have jumped the shark so many times that they’re probably in the Guinness Book. They had eight great seasons and went downhill from there, and now the show is so bad it hurts. I physically cannot watch it now because it’s a sick, sad, pathetic shadow of its former glory. And yet, Groening and co. are content with running it into the ground, pulling depressing plots out of a ratty old hat. I can’t imagine going to see a movie and watching them caper halfwittedly around for two hours … I’d come out crying like it was a showing of Steel Magnolias. Not going, uh uh, no way.

And now back to our regularly scheduled broadcast of videos and such:

Hot Chip’s “Playboy” came up on my ipod the other day and I had no idea what it was, but it’s a great song :D

Via Stereogum, The Rapture – “Whoo! Alright – Yeah … Uh Huh.” Remember the part in “UHF” where George goes into the TV and jams with Mark Knopfler? Yeah. It’s like that.

At Slate, “Who was the best rock band of the 80s?” Why, the Cure, of course.

At Music for Kids Who Can’t Read Good, Pictures of the Decemberists show in Chicago. Nice photos! That’s how the show looked in LA, right down to the suit coat that Colin’s wearing.

Gimme Tinnitus brings back my high school days with a bang and a “POW! He was decapitated! They found his head over by the sno-cone concession!”

Said the Gramophone has John Samson of the Weakerthans write a beautiful article on William Styron, Brahms, and Goethe.

New contrast podcast at timyoung.net! “Album openers,” is the title. Should be good stuff.

And … lots of good music to sift through at the WOXY lounge acts page.